Full of Courage and Following Hearts

This past week has been jam packed with new experiences. On Wednesday I was invited to attend a panel/discussion that Gender DynamiX was putting on, and I brought two friends with me. The discussion was about butch lesbianism versus trans men (women who have transitioned to men), and a huge number of people came out to listen and ask questions. I have never been part of such a lively and fascinating discussion. There is a lot of tension in the LGBTI community between butch lesbians and trans men, mostly because neither group understands the other’s perspective. The butch lesbians don’t understand the need to actually transition into a man, and the trans men don’t understand why butch lesbians act and look like men but don’t want to be men. I was asked by my supervisor to take notes on what questions were asked, which was somewhat awkward since many people were speaking Xhosa and the facilitator had to translate for me after every question. Still, it was a great experience and it made me feel even more connected to my site and the work they do there. One of my favorite quote from the night was from one of the trans men, Charlie. He told the story of his transition and in the end said that he learned through that experience that we must follow our hearts instead of dragging them behind us.
The next morning I went with my site co-workers to a march for sex workers rights. I have been to a few protests, but none where I only knew two people, and none in a foreign country (note: this activity was not endorsed by Marquette University…they don’t exactly support their study abroad students becoming political activists). I was somewhat nervous going into it, but it was very organized and civilized, and very energetic. We marched about a mile and a half to the steps of Parliament, where the group leader of SWEAT (sex workers education and advocacy task force) read a legal proposal and handed it to a government employee. Songs were sung, chants were chanted, and everyone went hope feeling happy and motivated—especially me.



The protesters outside of Parliment



Before this weekend I didn’t think I could love South Africa any more…but once again I was proven wrong. We spent the weekend in Hermanus, a beautiful beach town about 80 miles east of Cape Town.  We stayed at a retreat center called Volmoed, meaning “full of courage.”  Volmoed was located inland from Hermanus, tucked away into the most beautiful area—the best way I can describe this property is a playground for outdoorsy people. There were mountains, rivers, and waterfalls within a 45 minute hike of the cabin where we stayed. We stayed in two cabins (one for the girls and one for the boys) which were surprisingly well maintained and very comfortable. I’m telling you, it was summer camp for grown-ups. Our retreat was based on a book we read in preparation for this trip: Reconciliation: Restoring Justice by John de Gruchy, and we were lucky enough to have Prof. de Gruchy join us every day to lead us in discussions based around his book.  Friday evening we met shortly with John and then had some time to explore before dinner. My friend Katie and I went exploring and stumbled upon a huge pack of Baboons who were mating or feeding or something—whatever they were doing was making quite a lot of noise. We had a big pasta dinner and ate on the porch underneath the starts, which come out early in huge numbers. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars! We laid out underneath them in the huge grassy field for hours until we fell asleep and decided to move indoors. The next morning a few of us woke up early at 5:15 and hiked to one of the higher mountain peaks on the property to watch the sunrise. It took us about 45 minutes—the hike was not Table Mountain difficult but definitely a sweat-breaker, and well worth the trip. We got to the top in enough time to watch the sun come up over the mountains, and we all just sat there in silence taking in the 360 degree view around us. From our vantage point we could see the ocean, the mountains and the many vineyards in the area. It was probably one of the most beautiful and powerful moments of my life. If I could do that sunrise hike every morning I would be able to give up coffee for good—nothing has ever made me feel so awake! After a quick breakfast and our first session with John, we headed into town for the day. We shopped around the open-air markets, walked along the waterfront, had lunch at a restaurant that was right on the water, swam in the tide pools, and took a much needed nap on the beach. We got home just in time for our second session with John, and after that a few of us took a short (15 minute) hike to this hidden waterfall and swam around for a bit until the sun went down and we got cold. We had another family dinner, roasted s’mores, and called it an early night. Sunday morning was foggy and a little colder, so we decided to forgo the sunset hike and instead do our own thing. I took off on one of the best runs of my life around 7:30 and ended up on the top of the mountain behind the cabins we stayed in. Since arriving in South Africa, I haven’t felt more free than I did in that moment. Not only did I feel safe in the obvious ways (since the property was private we didn’t have to worry about travelling in groups all the time or looking over our shoulders constantly) but there was something about being on the top of a mountain alone that was particularly special. The retreat was definitely a once in a lifetime experience…though I hope to make it back there some day.



Our Cabin is third from the left

So I’ve mentioned our three “sessions” with John de Gruchy, but what did we really talk about? First a word on the book. Reconciliation: Restoring Justice gives away a lot about the book’s content, but there is more to it than just reconciliation. De Gruchy describes the reconciliation process that took place after Apartheid officially ended, once Mandela was elected President. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) was established in order to solve the myriad problems in the wake of the Apartheid regime. The unique thing about the TRC was how successful it was considering the extent to which racial divides had devastated the South African community. In his book, de Gruchy describes this process in detail and uses a religious and ethical language to advocate for justice restoration through reconciliation. Our conversations with Prof. de Gruchy, though driven by the content of the book, took a turn away from the actual text and were directed instead to our own ideas of God, reconciliation, and truth.  I took a lot away from our discussions, but there is one thing that John said that really made an impact on me. We were talking about our definitions of God, and we eventually flipped the question on him. He said that for him, God is a mystery beyond which he cannot conceive, but without which life cannot exist. I thought that was one of the best “non-definitions” of God that I’ve ever heard, and it changed my perspective of God and religion in general. I don’t consider myself a religious person in the conventional sense, but I know that there was something bigger than me present at Volmoed this weekend. If you don’t believe me, just look at the pictures…

Sunrise view #1 (before the sun was up...)



Sunrise view #2



Sunrise view #3

Location of the Baboon sighting



Where we swam in Hermanus